I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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