Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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