What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
