I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
