I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
