All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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