We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
