Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
