Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
