I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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