Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
