I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
