Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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