I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
