she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
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The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
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Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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