it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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