Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
