Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
