when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
do nipples grow back?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
