I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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