I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
