My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
should my penis look like a turkey
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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