she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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