You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
