so explain again why im purple
no
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
