Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
