I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
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How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
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She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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