just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
