Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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