The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
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