you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
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