Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
