there was a trapeze. enough said
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
