Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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