Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize