someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
