bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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