I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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