Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
