god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
