see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
my poor anus
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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