i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
