Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
