Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
