New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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