where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
