I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Randomize