Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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