So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
this is an emotional support booty call
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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