I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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