I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
