i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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