I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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