i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
