kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
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I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
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I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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