One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize