real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize