we have officially lost it.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
