If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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