I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
