Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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