i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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