U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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