your room smells of hookers.
And success
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize